I don’t need anyone – 1st

“I don’t need anyone”, ese pensamientos siempre viene a mi mente. Los humanos jamás vamos a cumplir. Las personas me van a lastimar y van a fallarme y va a ser una mierda total.

Habrán momentos que no tengo a quien llamar cuando estoy feliz y menos cuando estoy triste. Nunca he tenido un grupo de amigos cercanos, no suelo tener un grupo de personas constante. Porque siempre terminan de una u otra manera haciéndome sentir mal o yo sientiendo que no les importo o no los quiero molestar. Que no soy parte.

La verdad… es que es más fácil fingir y sonreír. Pero en lo momento que estamos solos… no hay a quien engañar. Es más fácil decir “I don’t need anyone” y es cierto, pero no quiero. Duele mucho más el estar sola, el no tener a nadie, el fingir estar bien siempre.

Future choices

Sometimes I become afraid of the choices I have to make in my life. I feel insecure of what the future holds for me. I’m terrified of how I will change other lives, mostly in a bad way, cause let’s accept it if it was in a positive way I wouldn’t hesitate. I cannot stop thinking of the consequences that may come from those choices, how they can affect me and the people surrounding me, how it will change our roles in this drama called life with lots of laughter, tears, adventures, secrets, opportunities, failure and more.

I wish I could stop time, so that I could take it slower and calmer but I know two truths to that statement.

  • Number one, if I could stop time, I would probably stop time forever. Make it mine and savour it in my palms as much as I want. 
  • Number two, it is not possible to do that, so I shall not think about it. I should not waste my energy on irrational thinking.

I stand on my knees pleading the Lord to guide me. He can stop time and he has more knowledge than anyone, he the all mighty that is looking and protecting me all the time. I ask you humilated to take my life and do with it whatever you want, and give me the strength and confidence I need in order to cope with the life you have given me. Cause we both know I cannot do this alone, but with you I can move foward.

The time between us

How to stop time= kiss
How to travel time= read
How to escape time= music
How to feel time= write
How to release time= breath

“I want to be escaping time with you in the endless nights, while we travel time through our eyes and feel time in the proximity of our skin, and every time we stop time we feel like it’s the first time in awhile that we release it.” – LCA

Little princess: moonlight

One warm night the little princess, unable to sleep went for a walk to catch some air. To her pleasent surprise the moon was out almost full and the white glow will illuminate all the kingdom. She unaware ended up in one of her favorite places, the garden.

She sat on the edge of the fountain watching at the water flow and the moons reflection. She started humming and then singing.

“Hold me close and hold me fast

The magic spell you cast

This is la vie en rose

When you kiss me, Heaven sighs

And though I close my eyes

I see la vie en rose”

In the middle of the night, from one off the windows someone was watching her with hypnotized gazed. Starting to walk faster across the halls just to be with her a little time. Before continuing singing the little princess turned around by a noise, just to see her loyal soldier standing on the door; catching his breath. He came closer with calm steps and she moved to the side to let him sit near to her.

The moon was shining both of them… a little princess and a nightmare. She turned to see him just to find him staring at her with no shame. His eyes light up by the moon melting her heart and made her feel save. She crawled near him and put both of her hands on the side of his face. He closed the space between them and kissed her with all the desire and love he had for her. Without shame they stayed on each other’s arms until late.

At the end the little princess fell asleep on his arms and her loyal soldier carried her to her bed. Laying her in with a soft touch, and before walking away he gave her a small kiss on the forehead.

“You are the best nightmare I’ve ever had” the little princess whispered to him before kissing him softly in his mouth and going back to bed where once again she fell asleep instantly.