Cumplir sueños también es solitario.

Hace unos tres meses no veía a mi mejor amiga pues se fue a Italia a vivir y a seguir sus sueños de estudiar pastelería italiana. A primera vista mi amiga del alma era la misma de siempre; nos abrazamos y emocionamos al vernos, hablamos sobre el viaje y de las aventuras que habíamos tenido en los últimos días. Pero poco a poco fui viendo ciertos cambios en ella. No fueron malos o de su personalidad sino de su actitud, madurez, confianza, inteligencia y del orden de sus prioridades.

Definitivamente vivir en otro lugar alejado de quienes amamos y de nuestros pilares de soporto es duro y aun mas cuando se debe de aprender a acomodarse porque no están ni mami ni papi para ayudar. A cientos de kilómetros de distancia y uno solo, debemos de aprender como sobrevivir en este nuevo mundo al cual no lanzamos. Nadie nos levantara del suelo si nos caemos, tenemos que levantarnos por nosotros mismos; nadie nos tendrá comida hecha cuando nos despertemos temprano o regresemos tarde a la casa, no habrá a quien abrazar en mucho tiempo, ni nadie con quien compartir una sonrisa sincera y la felicidad de vivir en muchas ocasiones.

El cambio que note en ella es lo que se ha convertido como mujer, como persona, como  ciudadana. Note como ya no ve a la vida de forma soñadora sino que la ve como un desafío, la ve como una realidad. Ella tiene los pies directos en la tierra y sabe que la guerra no esta ni cerca de terminar y la tranquilidad que la espera aun no están nada cerca. Ella esta bien centralizada y tiene el conocimiento suficiente para entender que una vez que termine en Italia todo entonces no significa que ya puede relajarse, sino que significa una nueva batalla y una nueva aventura lo que le espera. Es saber que tendrá que ponerle mucho esfuerzo para poder seguir con su plan de vida y junto a Di-os estoy segura que lo va a lograr.

Me enorgullece verla que esta luchando, poniendo un pie adelante del otro y nunca dejando su guardia baja. Ella entiende que tiene que luchar los malos días de la vida para poder ganar los mejores. Sabe que habrán llantos, palizas, gritos, desesperaciones y ganas de rendirse pero también vendrán risas, dulces momentos, éxitos, bendiciones y satisfacción. Y estoy consiente yo que lo que puedo hacer es aprender de ella y verla crecer; puedo apoyarla y ser su soporte cuando lo necesite y yo misma seguir mis sueños para poder cumplirlos junto a ella.

Muchas gracias.

-LCA

Los sentimientos que me brinda el mundo.

Me da inspiran las hojas de los arboles cuando caen desde el cielo creando una lluvia de colores.
Me da risa como las nubes se mueven y crean diferentes formas; me dejan volar mi imaginación tal y como ellas vuelan en el cielo.
Me da gracia como el viento viene y va de todas las direcciones, mostrando su forma salvaje y cálida de acompañarnos. Me interesa como se mueve y como afecta todo su alrededor, nunca pasa desapercibido.
Me da en que reflexionar como el agua se moldea a su entorno y me da una calidez que siempre deja algo cuando se va y me conmueve que como las partículas luchan por quedarse juntas creando así una superficie liza y redondeada.
Me da tristeza como la vida se mueve y nadie lo nota, como nadie se detiene a ver las cosas que tenemos a nuestro alrededor y no aprecia lo bello que es lo que nos rodea.
Pero ante esa tristeza que las personas provocan al ignorar las maravillas de la vida, el mundo me alegra dándome a mi el placer de poder disfrutarlas. El mundo no se resiente con todos por la ignorancia de las demás personas, porque hemos algunos que si nos fijamos en el mundo. Nos da la oportunidad a los que nos volteamos a ver por la ventana, a los que caminamos un poco más lento, a los que nos detenemos a ver la flor que crece a nuestro lado.

Walk behind, walk in front, walk together.

Can anybody hear me?
Can anybody see me?
Cause I think I lost my way.
Will anybody watch me?
Is someone gonna stop me?
This could be my last mistake.
Put the gun down.
Just put the gun down.

Will you let me listen to you?
Will you let me see you for who you truly are?
Let me guide you through the darkness of insanity.
Will you let me watch you until I fall asleep?
Will I be enough to stop you?
This could be my last mistake.
Put your gun down.
Just take the gun and hope I won’t point it at me.

Won’t you be scared of the roars and the screams?
Promise you will not turn your face away when you see my true face.
I will follow.
But aren’t you afraid of a Nightmare walking behind you?
I don’t know, are you?
Even if I wanted to.. I can’t.
I am my only target.

I cannot be scared of echoes of help that I hear for your color. But tell me will you not run when you hear me scream, howl, lament and cry?
Promise me you will not see the glass every one choose to see when they see me, you will only be mesmerized by my eyes, just like I will be by yours.
I am not capable to be frightened of what will protect me, will you let me be in front of you? Guiding the path you take.
I may be. If I wish it enough, I may not just yet know what I am able of.
If you will not you do not leave me much choice.
I take if away for you.
Cause you if you pull the trigger i will pull mine.

I can’t be afraid of what I’ve lived with for so long; so don’t worry about that.
Yes, I’m here to protect you.
Please be, it’s all I ask for.

Others will see us and be scared, anxious just by the sound of our names.
If you walk behind me I will be sure I will take the most correct path, will not let you give up, will show you the most beautiful things nature can show us.
If I let you carry me I know you will take the safest path, will hold me close so I won’t get cold, will show me that chavarity is not dead.
But if we walk side by side, we can be invincible. We will combine all of us good and bad, and everyone will know who we are.
In the darkness and brightest places our names, love and stories will be whispered and heard.
We will both inspire fear and hope; our enemies will not know what there are getting themselves into, and our friends will know who we really are.
You just have to take my hand, pull away the gun, give me the gun, and cry in my shoulder until you fall asleep to rest for tonight.

Doesn’t matter how strong I am and how strong I can be.
I still need your support.
Let’s walk together, I want that for us.
Is just that sometimes is so hard.
I feel better now.
Just let me fall asleep with you.

The time between us

How to stop time= kiss
How to travel time= read
How to escape time= music
How to feel time= write
How to release time= breath

“I want to be escaping time with you in the endless nights, while we travel time through our eyes and feel time in the proximity of our skin, and every time we stop time we feel like it’s the first time in awhile that we release it.” – LCA

Let’s feel together while being far apart

Even seeing you across me through a feel phone screen makes my heart melt. Your voice is like soft silk in my ears making me feel in peace. The look in your eyes makes me feel loved and cared.

My love, my darling, my beast. I think of you each night and day; thinking of you are fine and well, you have eaten and happy.

I cannot describe good enough how you make me feel even if it’s while laughing and talking random topics during a FaceTime call. But I am sure and aware that I like it and love to spend time with you even virtually.

What is happening?

How do you do it? Why does my mind and body react the way they do? Have I gone crazy? The simple though of you makes me feel warm and happy.

Is this love? If it is… how do you react to it? Can you control it? Why can I think straight? I feel confused yet confident.

What are you doing to me?, that I cannot understand anymore or find logic in it. So many questions and new emotions in my mind and body that I cannot control them anymore, if I try it I might go crazy.

Air

People say that when you love someone they will take you breath away… but I don't believe in that. Cause when I'm with you I feel the air around me go lighter, I feel my world go slow and my chest more free, I can sense peace and love, and when I kiss you I can feel like I haven't breath any air in ages. Your kisses, they give me life and I feel myself falling right into your arms at peace, right where I belong.

What are we?

We are… the exception, the dream that started as a lie, then we transformed into a nightmare, but at the end we turned into a movie scene. Those seen in the past; black and white and no sound. Now we have added much more. 

Sound, we added the sound of our laughs and giggles. The sound of every breath we take away for the other. The sound of our kisses. The sound of whispers and conversations full of secrets and dumb facts. But the most loud we added and can feel the most is the sound of our hearts when we are together. 

Colors, many colors, all people can and cannot imagine. Abstract and concrete, we have created many. We added the color of our eyes looking in loved of each other, we have added the colors of the day around us, when it’s grey and sad until it’s shinny and happy. We have added color to our hang outs and make everything gleam in color. 

We continue to add things to this dream. To our story. To our lives. We are the novel. We are infinite. We are not perfect. We are a beautiful disaster. We are the princess and the prince? But out of all the things I said I am sure of one more. 

We are unique. 

-LCA 

Word’s of my life…

Logophile [law-guh-fahyl]
(n.) a lover of words. Origin: Logos from Greek, meaning ‘speech’ + phile from Latin or Greek, meaning ‘friend or lover’.
I do not usually like tags on people, but would gladly consider and call myself a logophile.

Improvise [im-pruh-vahyz]
to compose, play, recite, or sing (verse, music, etc.) on the spur of the moment.
Sometimes things are better and more fun when they are improvised.

Monotone [mon-uh-tohn]
(n.) a single tone without harmony or variation in pitch.
I hate monotone days.

Worth [wurth]
(prep.) good or important enough to justify
Some things are worth risking it.

Table [tey-buh l]
(n.) such a piece of furniture specifically used for serving food to those seated at it.
Sitting and talking on a table while music is playing and food all over the place with my best friend a late Saturday night is the best feeling ever.

Imagine [ih-maj-in]
(v.) to think, believe, or fancy; to form a mental image.
I cannot control my mind of imagining all the stuff we could do together.

Perspective [per-spek-tiv]
(n.) the state of existing in space before the eye.
You may feel like a loser but I see you as a winner, it is all about perspective.

Chaos [key-os]
(n.) a state of utter confusion or disorder; a total lack of organization or order.
Between long talks, dark nights, laughs, kisses, drama and dancing there is always a space for chaos.

Lips [lips]
(n.) the red or pinkish margin of the human mouth.
I can feel you on my lips all the time, but I just wanna feel you in my heart and on my mind.

Mistaken [mi-stey-kuh n]
(n.) to regard or identify wrongly as something or someone else.
Being mistaken for my best friend girlfriend twice in the same week is pretty hilarious for me.

Day [dey]
(n.) period of existence, power, or influence.
Days pass by and while some can have an excellent day other will have the worst; that little thought just makes me want to hug everyone.

Mariachi [mahr-ee-ah-chee]
(adj.) dance or music, usually played by a small band of strolling musicians dressed in native costumes.
It had been a long time that I had seen a mariachi and had so much fun with it.

Miss [mis]
(v.) to regret or notice the absence or loss of.
I’m forgot how much I missed your presence, touch and friendship.

Memory [mem-uh-ree]
(n.) the act or fact of retaining and recalling impressions, facts, etc.
We can recall so many memories, but I cannot regain all those feelings.

Hot [hot]
(adj.) having a high temperature.
Today’s day was so hot I just wanted to be lying on the floor.

Active [ak-tiv]
(v.) caracterized by an energetic work or participation; busy.
After an active day, my body feels like it has done a good work.

Friend [frend]
(n.) a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
Never thought I had those emotions and thoughts when seeing an old friend.

Concentrate [ˈkänsənˌtrāt]
(v.) focus one’s attention or mental effort on a particular object or activity.
To concentrate in one task only can be a hard task but it can be possible.

Fix [fiks]
(v.) to put in place or in good condition; adjust or arrange.
Everything can be fixed you just need to breathe, have patience and much desire.

Flap [flap]
(v.) to move up and down, as wings; flap the wings, or make similar movements.
I could not stop laughing when I saw the majestic flap flap.

Hope [hohp]
(v.) to believe, desire, or trust.
We humans will always hope for the best but expect the worst.

Suffocate [suhf-uh-keyt]
(v.) to discomfort by a lack of fresh or cool air; suppress.
The hotness of the weather and your thoughts suffocated me in a restless state.

Unstable [uhn-stey-buh l]
(adj.) unsteadfast; inconstant; wavering; marked by emotional instability.
This days my brain is so unstable that is begging to suffocate me and my life.

Create [kree-eyt]
(v.) to evolve from one’s own thought or imagination, as a work of art or an invention.
We create million of beautiful things all the time with every breath we take.

Closure [kloh-zher]
(n.) a sense of psychological certainty or completeness: a need for closure.
It is hard but when something is creating great sorrow in our life a closure can be the best option.

Everyday has a word in specific… and its definition can change too. I just like to collect them too.

A stolen friend

There was once this great dragon who lived with a little princess, both were friends and took care of each other. The dragon purpose was to protect the princess on her daily life, since so many thieves and mischievous guys wished to catch her. One day something unexpected happened… a giant floating air balloon flew above the castle and catch the lovely dragon. The princess was screaming and crying on the ground as she saw how her best friend was being taken, she did not know what to do until a little voice sounded on her head. “Do no cry my little girl, your tiara is gonna fall. We will see each other soon. I love you.” The little princess knew that must have been her dragon, so she gain courage and went inside the castle into the only room she could only enter on an emergency, and this was indeed an emergency.

Grabbing a equipping a shiny armour and grabbing her sword and shield and began planning her escape from the castle. Cause this time the little princess would go and save her dragon.

-LCA