I wish not

I am not going to wish he was here.
If I wish for it means that it could be possible and it is not. He will not be here with me, and he is not going to spend this lovely day by my side.
I don’t want to pretend and wish for all that bullshit. Cause if I am not willing to make it happen then that’s all it is.
I shouldn’t be filling my mind and heart with irrational thoughts, it’s dangerous and painful.

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